Post-op gear

This post is about the materiel I assembled to help with my recuperation. The oddest thing about getting everything together was that I was not absolutely certain the hospital would not provide me with crutches until I got down there and started to talking to people. One would think that with a several thousand dollar procedure that they could just throw those in. Not so. The only swag you go home with is the chunk of metal in your body.

First off, was a binder I received from the Swedish Orthopedic Institute called 'Joint Journey - Your Guide To Hip Replacement Surgery', which was moderately useful, although I should have just read it more closely before the surgery. I remember getting home afterwards and leafing through it going, "Huh, I didn't know that."

I got some regular ole crutches from Salvation Army for $7:

Clearly some people can't be persuaded to not purchase more expensive uber-ergonomic crutches, but for the time that I had to use them, they worked fine.

I found an adjustable height commode on craigslist for $15 being sold by the recipient of total hip replacement. Go figure:

As I learned when researching a new toilet we installed downstairs, the height of standard toilets these days is an inch or so higher than they used to be, so if you have a newer toilet and something like a counter nearby to help lower yourself slowly onto the seat, you might not need one of these at all. You just want the security of something like a bar or the counter and you need to make sure you can sit there without your leg bending past 90 degrees, which is the widely accepted limit to avoid dislocation. Your hip flexors are going to be pretty sore so you probably won't even get close to that for while. I ended up using this for about 2 weeks. You have to take the seat and lid off your toilet to make it fit.

I bought a shoe horn (I think this is the best kind) which at 3 weeks is still useful, and a sock horse which I did not find useful at all. There were a few times I had to have M help me put a sock on, but after a few days I found I could do it myself:

• Stand sideways to your bed or another surface that is about at knee height
• Keeping your thigh vertical, bend at the knee and put your foot on the bed behind you.
• Externally rotate your leg so that your foot now extends beyond the bed and a little behind the leg you are standing on.
• Hold your sock open with your fingers in one hand (on the same side as the leg you are standing on), twist and reach behind you, and get your toes in the opening of the sock. 
• Put your foot back on the bed and flex your foot to near 90 degrees.
• You should now be able to pull the sock up over the rest of your foot. 

Too much detail? Sorry, this isn't Twitter.

The reacher we got to help me reach...I don't know what..was likewise not useful. I'm thinking it might come in handy to retrieve lego pieces that have fallen behind bookcases.

For his recovery, my brother made this bad-ass cane from an old pool cue:

It's a little too pimpy for my tastes, but it has come in handy. That's a shifter knob on top with 3 different modes of LED illumination. Why in the world anyone would design, build, or want such a thing is proof to me that civilization is in a Romanesque decline. But a friend of my brother's was blinging out his truck and offered it to him. Turned out to fit perfectly on the top of the cane.

Finally, the one thing I acquired which brought me more relief than anything else was a pair of compression shorts with pockets for holding ice packs. For a few days after surgery, ice will be a great balm. The easier it is to keep in place, the more you will do it, and the better you will feel. These shorts are awesome for this. Not to mention that compression is good for reducing swelling and bruising.

They are made by 110% PlayHarder, which is great name for people using them for injury or surgery recovery to make fun of. For example, on my third day post-op M and I were outside our hotel taking a walk. I was moving slowly and cautiously on my crutches but I felt pretty good so I suggested that we circumnavigate the entire block. M asked, "Are you sure!?", to which I answered, "Well, I am wearing my compression shorts. 110 percent, baby!". It went on like that for a few days.